


Half Devil and Top Gear's Tame Racing Driver

by The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew



Series: Who Is The Stig? [3]
Category: Devil May Cry, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Crossover, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 09:51:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew/pseuds/The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some say that he hunts demons, and that his father was the Dark Knight Sparda...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Devil and Top Gear's Tame Racing Driver

Yet again the Top Gear presenters were finishing up their review of the latest car that they had gotten their hands on. The camera in the studio panned out to show James May, Richard Hammond, and Jeremy Clarkson gather around the aforementioned car. “Now it’s time to see how fast it goes around our track,” May said, as the camera panned left.

Hammond picked it up from there. “And to do that we need to turn it over to our tame racing driver.”

Clarkson finished the line. “Some say that he has an evil twin brother, and that he owes a large amount of money to a woman with a very big gun. All we know is, he’s called… The Stig!!”

Sitting in the new car at Top Gear’s top-secret test track at an abandoned Royal Air Force base in Dunsfold Park, Surrey, a helmeted man in a white racing suit turned up the radio as he waited for the signal to start the lap. Behind the blue-tinted visor blue eyes lit up as a demonic sounding voice played through the speakers. “ _Steal the soul for a second chance,/ but you will never become a man./ My chosen torture makes me stronger/ in a life that craves the hunger,/ a freedom and a quest for life/ until the end, the judgment night…_ ” The silver-haired man had to keep himself from nodding his head along to the song that continued to play as he revved the car’s engine.

As he shot off the line in a cloud of smoke and the shriek of tire squeal, Dante mused on how he had become so desperate for money that he had taken a second job as a test driver, forcing him to temporarily abandon his beloved red leather jacket and leather pants. Things had gotten slow on the demon hunting scene, and with Lady hounding him for money he hardly had any left over for pizza anymore.

Somewhere far away from the track, a woman in a white blouse and a plaid miniskirt with a giant rocket launcher on her back kicked down the doors to a building called Devil May Cry, shouting, “Dante, where’s the damn money you owe me!?” Her mismatched eyes took in the sight of a very messy desk and the very empty chair behind it. The heavily armed woman proceeded to search the empty building, cursing out its owner and promising to shoot him in some very painful areas the next time she saw him.

As he careened around Gambon and across the finish line, Dante felt a chill run down his spine and he started to sneeze uncontrollably. _Why do I have this sudden feeling of imminent doom_? Dante wondered. Shrugging it off, he stopped the car and got out. _I wonder what Lady’s up too_?

**Author's Note:**

> The stories in this series are also posted at FF.Net in an edited form to conform to that site's guidelines under the same author's name. Those are mine, so please don't report them if you find them.
> 
> Also, if anyone has any suggestions for who should be the Stig next, please post them. I can't promise that I will use them, but I will try. Thank you!


End file.
